DJ Honors Daughter's Memory By Making Memories For Special Needs Prom

TOMS RIVER, NJ — Jay Bowman-Torres has been spinning music and encouraging people to get their dance moves going for more than 20 years.

His specialty: working with special needs patrons.

"I have a summer dance series in Bradley Beach," Bowman-Torres said in an interview with Patch. "We get 200 people with special needs doing the dances."

Bowman-Torres goes by Jay Danceman in his DJ business, and teaches dance lessons and martial arts as well, and people with special needs have a special place in his heart.

So when he received a phone call from representatives of Children's Specialized Hospital earlier this year looking to hire him for the hospital's annual prom for its long-term care patients, it seemed like a natural fit.

Little did the prom organizers know that Jay had a much deeper connection to the hospital, which provides a range of services to children with special medical needs: his stepdaughter had been a patient there many years ago.

Carissa lived with cerebral palsy and severe scoliosis and required around-the-clock specialized care from the time she was 6 years old until she died in 2007 at the age of 14. While she was alive, she got to participate in the prom for the long-term care patients.

It was an event that always brought a smile to her face, Bowman-Torres said.

"She smiled all the time, this big, infectious smile," he said. And when Carissa was excited, her wheelchair would shake from her movements.

"That's how she was during the prom," Bowman-Torres said.

The memory of his daughter is still strong: "Her with her crown with a big smile on her face," he said.

When the hospital called to hire him, he volunteered to work the event at no charge, his way of giving back to the hospital that had cared for Carissa and tried to make her life as fulfilled as possible.

On May 20, Jay brought his inclusive brand of DJing to the hospital for the annual prom, which Children's Specialized Hospital has been holding for more than 25 years.

"Prom is a rite of passage," said Carolyn Franzoso, manager of Long-Term Care Clinical Therapies at Children's Specialized Hospital. "This offers families something they may not have otherwise."

"It's just something really special," she said, "even just taking prom photos."

The long-term patients are dressed in gowns and suits and ties, and every child is given a corsage and a crown to wear. One of the multipurpose rooms is converted to a dance floor — the medical equipment is covered up for the night and colorful lights create a glow like any other special party.

The families and staff gather and for a few hours, life is just about the fun, Franzoso said.

"You see the nurses dancing with the children, the families bonding," she said. "Creating those memories is really meaningful."

"What I remember the most is seeing all the kids getting dressed up," Bowman-Torres said. "Everyone got a crown or tiara, and seeing how Carissa smiled as she was wearing her crown."

"I’m so happy to be able to go back there and give the same smiles my daughter had," he said.