Breaking the Silence: Imagine Hosts Inaugural Men’s Grief Retreat to Foster Healing and Community

Grief is often a solitary journey, particularly for men who may feel societal pressure to "stay strong" in the face of loss. With this in mind, Imagine recently hosted its first-ever Men’s Retreat, providing a transformative weekend of connection for ten current Imagine participants at The Uplands Center in Walton, NY.

The retreat was made possible through the generosity of the Matthew Thomas Toriello (MTT) Memorial Fund and The Robert and Marion Brozowski Foundation. The Uplands Center, where the retreat was held, is owned and operated by long-time friends of Imagine, Ann Rasmussen and Chris Cerf.Imagine is grateful to these partners for sharing their commitment to mental health and sustainable self-care.

The sponsorship by the MTT Memorial Fund carries deep significance. Kristen Sonnek-Schmelz, representing the fund, shared:

“Our family was honored to sponsor Imagine’s first Men’s Retreat in Matthew’s memory. Matthew participated in and volunteered at many church retreats because he loved people and valued community. Men tend to bond through activities, and that’s exactly what a retreat provides—time away from life’s to-do list to reflect on yourself and build community through a series of structured and unstructured activities!”

Thoughtfully planned by Mountainside Program Associate Kellie Saracino and led by Imagine facilitators Jim Gordon and Mamadee Keita, the weekend balanced intensive emotional support with restorative leisure.

“The men were given time for rest, relaxation, connection, and reflection,” Saracino noted. The schedule featured grief support groups and a restorative sound bath alongside physical outlets like yoga, ATV rides, nature walks, and evening bonfires. Participants also had full access to the center’s pool, sauna, and game lounge.

The retreat provided a rare sanctuary for men to shed the emotional armor often worn in daily life. Imagine Volunteer and Community Grief Facilitator Mamadee Keita observed:

“During the retreat, as the fire burned and the evening settled in around us, I watched men begin to the tell the truths about their lives in ways they perhaps never had before. And many men spoke about grief, about loneliness, about the exhaustion of always feeling that they have to stay strong. In a space surrounded by other men who understood, they were finally given permission to put down some of the weight they carry. This is what Imagine makes possible.”

The feedback from the ten attendees underscored the necessity of such programming:

“The 10 men that came were all open minded, kind, and genuinely interested in one another even though we all have different forms of grief and in many ways are very different people. While the conversations were sometimes difficult, there were many pockets of laughter and fun. A great experience.”

“[The retreat was] as much about wellbeing as it was talking about grief. When you are there, it feels very peaceful, low pressure and more fun than sad."

“It’s really worth it, to get away and escape for a weekend and just reset yourself....”

Imagine’s mission of ensuring no child grieves alone also means caring for those caregivers in the lives of our children.Self-Care and community are core and essential to caring for others.Imagine is proud to offer these free opportunities along with free continuous on-going peer support year-round at centers in Mountainside and Newark.Imagine remains committed to expanding its reach in the grief community. The Men’s Retreat was an extension of Imagine’s original efforts offering a Widow and Widowers Retreat, and a Women’s Retreat.Following the success of these events, the organization looks forward to facilitating additional retreats in the future.

Imagine, A Center for Coping with Loss is a 501c3 that offers training and education on loss and grief to the community and free year-round grief support groups for children ages 3-18 and young adults 19-30 who are coping with a loss due to death. Concurrently, support groups are available for the parents and caregivers of the children in the groups and offered in English and Spanish. Imagine has centers in Newark and Mountainside and offers virtual groups as well. For more information, please contact Imagine at 908-264-3100 or info@imaginenj.org or visit our website at www.imaginenj.org.