This Long Island Club Is Helping Women Make Friends In Real Life

BROOKVILLE, NY — Inside The Mansion at Wheatley Farms, about 60 women filled rows of exercise mats beneath chandeliers; resistance bands stretched around their legs during the Self Love Social Club's End of Summer Social on Aug. 27.

The event was planned as an outdoor gathering, but wet weather moved everything inside, where club co-founder Lauren King led them through squats, lunges, core work and other movements during a full-body sculpt workout.

The room illustrated exactly what King and co-founder Jessica Federico have been trying to build — a place where women can walk in without knowing anyone, share an experience and leave having made a connection.

Self Love Social Club is a Long Island-based social community centered on friendship, empowerment and getting women together in person. King and Federico host curated pop-up events ranging from fitness classes and craft nights to book swaps and social gatherings, typically holding two or three events each month.

"Self Love Social Club was created from two different experiences that ultimately led us to the same realization; women need spaces where they can prioritize themselves and connect with others, no matter what stage of life they're in," King and Federico told Patch.

Both understood, they said, how easy it can be for women to put themselves last or feel as though they do not fit neatly into one social group.

Rather than build a club around one particular age, hobby or life stage, they wanted to create a setting where women could show up, meet people and participate in something they enjoyed.

"We wanted to create the space we felt was missing, a community where women could show up as themselves, meet new people, make friendships, and do things simply because they make them happy," the co-founders said.

The club adds another responsibility to an already busy schedule for King. The Huntington resident is also a teacher in the South Huntington School District and has also worked in fitness, bringing her background into events such as the End of Summer Social.

Her mother, Susan King, said Lauren’s interest in fitness has become another extension of the way she connects with people.

“As much as she loves being a teacher, she just loves the whole fitness world,” King said. “I’m so proud of her. I’m always proud of her. It’s cool to see her in action.”

The workout in Brookville incorporated resistance bands, squats, lunges, hip thrusts, abdominal movements, upper-body exercises and planks.

King demonstrated movements and offered adjustments while Federico helped guide the event. But the exercise portion was only the beginning.

After the workout, women moved throughout the venue for frozen mocktails, stretching sessions, beauty and wellness activations, sweets, permanent jewelry, color analysis, floral activities, shopping and other offerings from local businesses.

The event, which King and Federico described as carrying a "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" theme, attracted about 60 women. Their first event drew roughly 40. The growth has come as the club has increased its calendar to two or three events each month with changing formats.

"Our events range from workout classes and craft nights to book swaps, social gatherings, and other experiences, so there's really something for everyone," King and Federico said. "Most importantly, you don't have to know anyone to come."

Coming Alone — And Leaving With Friends

Lindenhurst resident Alissa Christofey, 26, moved to Long Island from Brooklyn last year. After getting into Pilates, she wanted to meet other women interested in the same things. She began searching Instagram for other Long Island activities and discovered Self Love Social Club. She came to the End of Summer Social by herself.

“I needed to connect more with girls in that community, and this brought me to that," Christofey said. "I just feel welcomed every time I come. Not just from the hosts, but all the girls here."

The friendships have extended beyond the events themselves. Christofey said the club offered time to set aside for interests and relationships outside of professional responsibilities, something increasingly difficult to find while navigating work and adulthood.

"I think that I was looking for work-life balance," she said. "We're just so go, go, go in our 20s," she said. "We just connect — and we think about here — while we're here."

King and Federico said they have repeatedly watched relationships form.

"We want women to feel like they belong, even if they walk through the door not knowing a single person," they said. "Sometimes all someone needs is a little bit of confidence and a space that makes it easier to take that first step."

Creating Space For Small Businesses, Too

The club's mission has expanded beyond connecting attendees. Local small businesses have become another major piece of its events.

"A big reason why we started this was to really support small businesses too, and specifically women-owned," King said.

King and Federico choose vendors based partly on an event's theme. Wellness businesses may be featured at a fitness event, while a book-centered event could include businesses tied to books, crafts or similar interests.

Some vendors approach Self Love Social Club looking to participate, while others have developed continuing relationships with the organization.

Jacquie Kreckel, of Plainview, works as a dentist but operates The Bakerquie, a home-based baking business, as a creative outlet. She began participating in Self Love Social Club events after learning about the group last year.

"I think it just creates community, especially for people on Long Island," Kreckel said. "Finding that community is hard, especially if you're not from Long Island."

Kreckel said her own involvement has resulted in friendships with King and Federico while expanding the circle of businesses she knows.

The vendors themselves also meet one another, creating opportunities to reconnect or collaborate at future parties and events.

"Supporting small businesses has been an important part of Self Love Social Club from the beginning," the co-founders said.

The End of Summer Social included vendors and activations ranging from baked goods and candy to beauty services, floral activities, assisted stretching, color analysis and permanent jewelry. Gift bags also included products donated or sponsored by brands including Gorgie, Skinny Dipped, Good Good Brand, Create, Dry Water, Junkless, Cob Foods, Nixie, JLB Papery, Smart Sweets, J + E Luxe Boutique and Lavi Lagree. The floral event backdrop was created by The Backdrop Company Long Island and Bloomed NY.

A Month — Sometimes Four — Of Planning

King and Federico said they begin organizing an event at least one month in advance, although larger events may enter planning as much as four months in advance.

"There’s a lot that happens behind the scenes," the co-founders said. "We're working on the club year-round, even when we don't have an event happening. There's planning, coordinating vendors and businesses, creating content, organizing logistics, and making sure all of the little details are taken care of so that when women arrive, they can simply enjoy themselves."

Rather than charging for a standing club membership, Self Love Social Club operates through individual events, with attendees registering and paying separately for the experiences they want to attend. The structure allows King and Federico to keep experimenting with formats.

Following the summer event, the organizers said they were planning another sculpt workout on the beach while exploring additional experiences and larger gatherings.

King and Federico envision building a large Long Island-based network that women can return to through different stages of their lives. They said they hope to grow their signature events, work with more businesses and eventually move into experiences such as retreats and trips.

"Ultimately, we want Self Love Social Club to become a community that women feel connected to — not just when they attend an event, but throughout their lives," King and Federico said.

More information about the club through its Instagram page @selflovesocialclubli