HELP WANTED — Independent Auditor (Wilton, CT) Posted by concerned residents · Compensation: pending

⚠️ SATIRE / POLITICAL COMMENTARY — NOT A REAL JOB POSTING ⚠️

The Town of Wilton — proud holder of a Moody's Aaa rating and a material weakness audit finding in the same fiscal year — is, in our satirical estimation, overdue for additional independent eyes on its books.

About the (hypothetical) role: Opine on the books of a town whose FY24 audit was filed late and disclosed a material weakness in internal controls — the most serious finding an auditor can issue. The FY25 deadline is reportedly approaching.

Key (imagined) responsibilities:

• Locate the ~$100,000 in Planning & Zoning funds that local reporting (Good Morning Wilton) describes as unaccounted for. Determine whether they are missing, misclassified, or simply shy.
• Review ~$300,000 in elderly tax credit disbursements reportedly issued without documented Board of Finance / Selectmen authorization, and decide whether "we'll vote on it later" qualifies as an internal control under GAAP.
• Review the engagement of Interim CFO Joseph Centofanti (PKF O'Connor Davies) — reportedly $375/hour, $200K+ through March 2026, with one Board of Selectmen appearance since November 2025 — and assess whether "interim" is a job description or a lifestyle.
• Reconstruct the period in which full-time CFO Dawn Norton was simultaneously appointed Town Administrator/Finance Director of Greybull, Wyoming (May 12, 2025), attended Wilton meetings via Zoom from Wyoming through the summer, and resigned from Wilton Aug. 6, 2025.
• Determine whether the FY25 audit is on track to be a repeat finding — a phenomenon known in the field as a repeat finding and in Wilton as Tuesday.
• Document the FY24 remediation plan with dates, owners, and milestones — rather than the currently available remediation plan, which appears to be vibes.
• Reconcile the Moody's Aaa rating against the same year's late audit, material weakness, CFO turnover, interim-CFO billings, missing P&Z funds, and unauthorized tax credits. Show your work.
• Examine the First Selectwoman's email to P&Z on ASML (reportedly suggesting opponents "take 'em to court") and assess whether executive communications to a quasi-judicial land-use board were appropriately documented, disclosed, and — ideally — not sent.
• Confirm the existence, location, and version control of the FY26 budget, currently believed to exist primarily in the form of strong feelings.

Required (fictional) qualifications: Active CPA. Comfort with documents marked draft / do not circulate. Working familiarity with the rhetorical question "Why should I have known this?"

Preferred: Forensic accounting. Familiarity with Wyoming time zones. A sense of humor durable enough to survive the comment section.

Compensation: Negotiable. In keeping with recent local custom, may be approved retroactively.

To "apply": Don't. Read the underlying reporting and form your own conclusions. 📎 Sources & footnotes: toniboucherfanclub.com

DISCLAIMER: Satire and civic commentary protected under the First Amendment. Not an official town communication, not a real job posting, and not a statement of fact about any individual. All factual assertions are drawn from public reporting (Good Morning Wilton, CT Insider, The Independent, official town meeting materials) and linked at toniboucherfanclub.com. Nothing herein alleges a crime, fraud, or violation of law by any named person. Not affiliated with or endorsed by Toni Boucher, the Town of Wilton, its boards, PKF O'Connor Davies, or any campaign. Paid for by no one. Composed by residents.