A Journal of the mind of an Addict

I want to share my story about my son Patrick’s battle with drug addiction, so that I may help other parents and stop the stigma surrounding addiction. Patrick from a young age was diagnosed with ADHD, as well as a learning disability. He struggled endlessly in school, to the point he stayed back in 7th grade which was devastating to him. He was 4 months shy of his 20th birthday when he graduated FHS. Patrick loved the weather all he wanted was to be a weather man, but felt he was too stupid to go to college. At the age of 15 he lost his first friend, by 2012 he lost 6 friends to cancer and he was a pallbearer for 2 of them. Then he became ill, multiple surgeries and opioids for 2 years. I think he then discovered that the medication also helped him cope with all he lost. Went to his first rehab in may of 2014. Came home and was doing well and I thought “thank god it’s over”. Well I was nieve because I knew nothing about addiction. 5 rehabs later and not letting him come home for a year (payed for sober living home). And yes I blew through my savings to save him. Patrick was 7 plus years clean. However I knew he was depressed and unhappy but he denied that to me. On 3/15/24 I found my son dead on his bedroom floor. I found out several months later when I got into the phone, which the police said they weren’t able to access, my elderly neighbor knowing Patrick was fighting to stay clean offered him a Percocet to shovel his driveway. My son took it and the autopsy showed FENTANYL poisoning. The neighbor never was arrested and died 10 months later. My son had a heart of gold. He loved animals, his family and friends. He was a simple soul who would have done anything to help anyone. I want to help make a difference for others whose loved ones are in active addiction and I want those who say cruel things about addicts to pick up a book and read about what happens in the brain of an addict.. the mental illness or trauma that these people have. And you should thank your lucky stars that you’re child or family members don’t have an addiction because you are so very lucky. This is the only way to honor my Patrick who made me a mom for the first time. My life is full of pain and guilt and I’m hopeless for a future where I can feel some joy.

Julie Primevara Stratton, Framingham Ma