Community Corner
‘Laptop Squatters,’ 1 Cup Of Coffee, No Place To Sit And Lots Of Side-Eye [The Question]
Readers draw the line at empty cups, scarce seats and hours of free Wi-Fi. Some say an hour is plenty; others say the bill matters more.
One cup of coffee. The prime table by the only outlet in the house. Hours of hogging a free high-speed connection while other customers stare daggers and walk out in contempt because they can’t find a place to sit.
Congratulations. You have officially broken every unwritten law of the digital age. You are the ultimate "laptop squatter," a modern parasite draining the public Wi-Fi and the barista's patience one byte at a time.
On the other hand, spending money on eats, tipping well and graciously surrendering the prime table to someone else helps restore the social contract between coffee shops and their customers, readers told us for The Question, Patch’s exclusive etiquette column.
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The digital age has reshaped the American workplace, with Bureau of Labor Statistics data that shows somewhere between 32.5 million and 36 million U.S. workers — 22.6 percent of the workforce — either telework or work from home.
Coffee shops are embracing the shift with offers of Wi-Fi to workers who need a change of scenery or to be around people. “Laptop squatter” and “Wi-Fi squatter” aren’t so much pejoratives as they are a literal description of the culture of what has become a modern workplace reality.
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A survey by business communications company Nextiva of 600 remote adults found nearly half work at a café for one to two hours, almost a quarter stay longer, and 40 percent go to avoid loneliness.
Just don’t be a jerk about it, readers said clearly.
‘Be A Good Citizen’
New York City Patch reader Cori said it is as important “to be a good citizen” at a coffee shop as it is anywhere else.
“Ordering a little something regularly is a courtesy to the workers who serve and clean up after you, as well as to the owners who provide this opportunity,” Cori said. “Be sensitive to others’ needs for seats and outlets, just as you would wish them to be. And if you’ve been there a good while and it’s getting busy, have the grace to make way for others who need exactly what you did, not to mention for the proprietors and workers who deserve the new wave of customers who help keep them in business and, hence, keep your workspace in existence.
“Decamp to a library or a bookstore for a while,” Cori continued. “Also, don’t be the bane of everyone’s existence, the one who’s constantly on long, full-voice Zooms or calls.”
“If you are loud, you are out,” said Brian, an Oak Forest (Illinois) Patch reader. He thinks 90 minutes is long enough to squat.
Millburn-Short Hills (New Jersey) Patch reader Mark often works at a coffee shop but understands that “good coffee shop citizenship means ordering regularly and clearing out when seats are scarce — or buying another round to ‘pay your rent.’”
“When squatters, and I am frequently one, make a café seem unavailable, it hurts the future of that café, which is bad for the owners and bad for the digital visitor,” he said.
“It is a place of business. Be reasonable. Especially when busy, allow others to use your table,” said Nashua (New Hampshire) Patch reader Max. “Always be polite, even if asked to vacate.”
Beware ‘The Seat Hog’
There’s always that person who stands for everything sketchy about some Wi-Fi squatters, said Highland Park (Illinois) Patch reader Mark.
“I think hanging out more than two hours is overstaying your welcome, especially if seats are scarce,” Mark said. “Those coming in should be able to relax a bit also, but some seat hog is preventing that.”
Coffee shops aren’t offices, Mark said, adding, “and employees shouldn’t have to deal with some potential creep watching their every move.”
“It doesn’t matter what you look like, creepy or not; it’s not your office, so move on within reason. Go home, rent a workspace or go to your car,” he said. “I get where sometimes it’s OK if a place is not busy, and maybe the place wants to look more inviting by not being empty, but plopping down for hours as if you own that space is just arrogant and rude.”
New York City Patch reader Debra said rudeness extends beyond the coffee shop in the digital age.
“Selfishness seems to be the new normal. People get a seat, and no one else matters. Young people sit in coffee shops and on buses and trains scrolling with earbuds on, while elderly people stand. No-dogs-allowed signs are ignored. It's every person for themselves and no regard for others.”
Tight Spot For Businesses
A couple of readers said if the business isn’t crowded, it’s OK for people to stay all day.
“You should always have food or coffee when sitting at a table,” said Smithtown (New York) Patch reader Pete.
Sayville-Bayport (New York) Patch reader Ella disagrees, but not when it comes to good coffee shop citizenship.
“I don’t think you have to keep buying unless there are people waiting for tables,” Ella said. “Then you should either clear out or repurchase — and get back in line to do so and allow others to get the table if needed.”
Staying too long puts business owners in a tight spot, said Kate, a Fairfield (Connecticut) Patch reader. They’re generous with their space, and it can be awkward to ask people working to go somewhere else.
“People who use the space at a coffee shop should be buying enough from the shop to cover the time they are there,” Kate said. “If that means one coffee and staying for an hour, fine. One $6 coffee should not entitle someone to spend hours there. They need to buy some additional products, in my view.”
Across America Patch reader HDS thinks coffee shops serving food should enforce a no-internet rule between noon and 2 p.m. so customers eating lunch have a place to sit.
“I’d have a sign if I had a business to that effect and time,” HDS said. “I’ve not gone into places because all the tables were filled with people on computers and a cup with nothing in it.”
Queens (New York) Patch reader Ken stays for an hour and then leaves. His read of the room suggests that’s about the threshold of tolerance for coffee shop proprietors and baristas, “though they won’t outright kick you out,” he said. “After an hour, they grudgingly tolerate your presence.”
Phinnie, a Harlem (New York) Patch reader, agrees.
“It is rude to post up longer than an hour at a coffee shop, regardless of what one buys or consumes,” Phinnie said.
‘I’m Always Welcome’
Amber, a Rockport (Texas) Patch AM reader, said coffee shops benefit from the added traffic as long as the laptop crowd polices itself.
“I don’t think a cup buys you to closing time; however, I do believe they are designed for us to use as an office at times,” Amber said. “It’s great for business when you meet others there, and the whole table buys something.”
Eric likes socializing with customers at his favorite New Jersey coffee shop. The Basking Ridge Patch and Bernardsville-Bedminster Patch reader also believes in paying his way.
“As one who uses a local Wi-Fi location, I make it a point to purchase at least $15 of merchandise during the course of my visit, usually 2 to 4 hours,” he said.
Radnor (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Hummingbird feels welcome at a coffee shop that has become a new local favorite.
“I usually buy stuff throughout my time at a coffee shop, but I love that I don’t feel obligated to,” Hummingbird said. “They don’t make me feel rushed. I’m always welcome to share the Wi-Fi, which is publicly displayed, and I appreciate their understanding.”
Hummingbird has worked places that aren’t as understanding.
“It’s frustrating that a culture of coffee shops not sharing Wi-Fi has created this weird feeling for us customers when we want to go in and work from a café,” Hummingbird said. “Using their space once or twice a week makes me want to come back every day, with or without my laptops.”
Support Businesses That Want You
Sue, a Brookline (Massachusetts) Patch reader, said she is a “the minute you open your laptop, you have overstayed your welcome” type of person.
“If you need to work, go to the library,” Sue said. “By working in a café, you are depriving café owners of potential income by overstaying your welcome, especially small cafés that are barely making ends meet.”
Laura, a Westport (Connecticut) Patch reader, offered an alternative to setting up camp.
“It’s fine to hang for a bit, maybe an hour, but it’s inconsiderate to the other patrons and to the business owner, especially if it’s a small local business,” she said.
Laura owns a coworking space, where independent workers, remote employees, startups, and small teams rent desks or rooms to work side-by-side.
“For just a little more than that daily cup at Starbucks, you can come to a more professional environment with great coffee — complimentary at my place — and other perks more conducive to working,” she said. “Supporting a business that wants you there instead of overstaying your welcome is the way to go!”
Granny Has A Quandary
Granny, a Minnesota Patch reader, has another dilemma.
“When all of the tables, including the four-tops, are taken by one person with their back to the wall, can others sit across from them?” Granny wondered. “As a retired person, I would sometimes like to go in and sit with my coffee. Should I say, ‘Can I join you?’ Or should I say something to the staff?
“I think remote workers should be mindful of this. I don’t get the feeling that they care. It’s like finders-keepers. What about the issue of conducting meetings on their cells?” Granny continued, adding:
“No, I’m not a cranky old lady. The question was posed, and I opined.”
What should Granny do? Continue the conversation in the comments below.
About The Question
The Question is an exclusive Patch column on etiquette, everyday ethics and what to do when the rules aren’t quite as clear as everyone pretends they are — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “The Question” as the subject line.
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